Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy: A Guide to Healing and Harmony

What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an innovative and evidence-based approach to psychotherapy
developed by psychologist Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It helps individuals address a variety
of mental health issues by recognizing and working with the different sub-personalities, or
"parts," within their mental system. IFS is grounded in the notion that the mind is naturally
multiple and that this multiplicity is a healthy aspect of human psychology.

Example: Consider a person who has a part that is critical and judgmental. This part might have
developed as a way to protect the person from making mistakes and facing criticism from others.
In IFS therapy, this part is not eliminated but understood and transformed to support the
individual in less harsh ways.

How does the IFS model of the mind work?

 The IFS model views the mind as a complex system similar to a family, where various subpersonalities or "parts" assume different roles:

• Managers: Proactive parts that keep the person safe from harm and emotional pain.
• Exiles: Often younger parts that have experienced trauma or pain.
• Firefighters: Reactive parts that act to soothe or distract from overwhelming pain.

Example: A manager part might push a person to work excessively to avoid feeling inadequate,
while a firefighter part might prompt them to use substances as a way to escape stress. The goal
in therapy is to help these parts find healthier ways to fulfill their protective roles.

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What are the main goals of IFS therapy?

IFS therapy aims to restore balance and harmony within the internal system by:

• Restoring Leadership of the Self: Facilitating the emergence of the Self to lead with its
inherent qualities.

• Transforming the Parts: Helping parts transition from their extreme roles into
supportive roles.

• Healing the Exiles: Addressing the pain and trauma stored in exiled parts.

Example: An exiled part that carries trauma from childhood neglect might be soothed and
healed when the Self engages with it directly, providing the care and attention it needs.

The Self and Its Qualities: The 8 C's and 5 P's

 The Self is characterized by the eight Cs: confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, curiosity,
courage, compassion, and connectedness, and the five Ps: presence, patience, perspective,
persistence, and playfulness. These qualities make the Self an effective leader within the internal
system, promoting healing and balance.

Engaging with Parts: The 6 F's of Part Exploration

 Engaging with different parts effectively is guided by the Six F's of Part Exploration:

• Find
• Focus
• Flesh Out
• Feel Toward
• Befriend
• Fear

Example: A therapist may help a client Find and Focus on a part that is causing anxiety. By
Fleshing Out this part's fears and motivations, the client can Feel Toward it with more
compassion, Befriend it, and address its Fears, leading to greater internal harmony.

Glossary of Key IFS Terms

Self: The Self is the core essence of an individual, distinct from the various parts. It is
characterized by the eight Cs—confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, curiosity, courage,
compassion, and connectedness. These qualities enable the Self to act as a compassionate leader
and healing agent within the internal system. The Self is seen as inherently good and possessing
the ability to heal the parts.

• Example: A person accessing their Self might find they are able to approach a personal
problem with more creativity and calmness, even if their initial reaction was to respond
with panic or avoidance.

Parts: In IFS, parts are sub-personalities or aspects of the psyche that have distinct viewpoints,
feelings, and memories. They serve various roles such as managers, exiles, and firefighters, each
acting from their own unique perspective and often formed in response to life experiences.
 

• Example: A 'manager' part might compel an individual to perfectionism to avoid
criticism, while an 'exile' might carry deep sadness from an early loss, kept out of
conscious awareness by other parts.
 

Managers: Managers are proactive parts that try to keep the person safe from psychological pain
by controlling aspects of the individual’s behavior, environment, and emotional responses. They
are often responsible for maintaining an individual’s day-to-day functioning and protecting the
more vulnerable parts.
 

• Example: A manager might cause someone to obsessively double-check their work to
avoid the possibility of mistakes.
 

Exiles: Exiles are typically young parts that have been hurt or traumatized, carrying burdens of
extreme emotions and painful memories. They are often suppressed by manager parts to keep
their pain from overwhelming the individual.
 

• Example: An exiled part might hold intense feelings of abandonment from a childhood
experience, which surface during times of stress or relationship difficulties.
 

Firefighters: Firefighters are parts that react to the pain of exiles breaking through into
consciousness. They act quickly to extinguish or numb this pain, often through behaviors that
can be destructive or extreme, such as substance abuse or overeating.
 

• Example: In a moment of emotional distress, a firefighter might prompt an individual to
binge eat to temporarily soothe feelings of worthlessness.

Blended: A state where a part is so enmeshed with the Self that the individual identifies strongly
with that part. This blending can cloud the person's self-perception and affect their behavior.
 

• Example: When a person feels they 'are' their anger or anxiety, they are blended with
that part, losing the perspective of the Self.

Burdens: Burdens are extreme beliefs or painful emotions that parts carry, often originating
from traumatic experiences. These burdens can influence how parts act within the system.
 

• Example: A part might carry the burden of believing it must always be strong and never
show weakness, affecting how it interacts with other parts and external situations.
 

Direct Access: A technique in IFS therapy where the therapist speaks directly to a client’s parts
rather than speaking only to the Self. This can help parts feel seen and understood and can be
crucial in transforming them.

Do-Over: A therapeutic exercise that allows clients to re-experience past situations with new
outcomes, often by engaging the Self and parts in a healing dialogue. This can help alleviate the
burdens parts carry.

• Example: Revisiting a childhood moment of embarrassment with the protection and
wisdom of the Self to change the part's painful memory.

Internal Communication: The process of facilitating dialogue within the internal system
between the Self and parts or among parts themselves. This helps to resolve conflicts and
promotes internal harmony.

• Example: A therapy session might focus on helping the Self negotiate between a critical
manager and a scared exile to ease internal tensions.